Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A rose by any other name...

My brain is on strike. Somewhere, on a hot tropical island, it is sitting at one of those umbrella tables with a nice, cool summery drink. A daiquiri maybe? Or a Margheurita (without the salt. Blech) Or maybe it's on a cruise. A Disney Cruise or something, having it's picture taken with Mickey and Minnie whilst deciding between shuffle board on the upper deck or salsa lessons in the main lounge.

Either way, the result is the same. I am blogless. Dustbowls are blowing through my mind. There is nothing, not a single scrap for me to write about that won't get me a) Beaten up b) Arrested or c) Divorced.

Speaking of... Can you get divorced if you're not married? It's just that once you have two kids together and a joint bank account, "breaking up" just doesn't sound serious enough. It's the same with labelling each other. Boyfriend and Girlfriend is what we were before the kids, the house, the arguments over damp towels left on the bedroom floor (Seriously, it takes 5 seconds to hang it up) and all the rest of the stuff that goes with being madly in love parents of two who plan on spending the rest of our lives together and just so happen to not be married.

"Partner" sounds a bit too cold and clinical. Partners have stainless steel kitchens, live in converted wearhouses and wear funky rimmed glasses. Everything they read or listen to is "Independant" and everything they own is fairly traded. They travel. A lot. In a nutshell, they are cool.

We are not that cool.

We are also not married, so "husband" and "wife" are therefore out.

What does that leave? Not much really. Friends? Well we are, but I'm friends with a lot of people that I don't have kids with. Lovers? Um... did I mention the two kids? Besides which, it just sounds so trashy. Imagine introducing someone as your lover. Lovers are like mashed potatoes or onion rings, they are something served on the side. They are not the main dish.

You know, considering the fact that 1 in 3 children born in Ireland last year were born to unmarried couples (Gasp! Shock! Horror!) I think it's time we were given a Noun of our own.

Any suggestions?

(Hey! Looks like I did have a blog after all...)


  1. When did I stop being cool??

  2. In Sweden there is a name for couples living together without being married it's called 'Sambo', there is even I believe legal rights for Sambo couples...Sam being short for samman, together, and bo being short for boende, accommodation. So you live together.

    There is also särbo. Separate living. These are people who might be in a relationship but don’t necessarily live together. The term gives a little bit more seriousness to the coupledom.

  3. Here from SITS! I had to laugh about grocery ads being your porn... I feel that way too *L*

    There does need to be a word for that... I know here in The Netherlands they use the term partners, but that does kinda sound steely to me too!

  4. Oh, another one of us who isn't married, but is together forever :-)

    We just tell people we're married...if they're crass enough to ask details I go into this whole speel about how we don't feel we need permission from the church OR the state to love each other and share our lives together. LOL! That's pretty much all it takes to shut everyone up :-)

  5. What's funny is I hate introducing my husband as "my husband." I think it's the connotation that comes with that - the "your relationship must fit into this defining box - better half, provider, baby daddy, pants wearer, lawn mower, and once a month pleasure giver." Ick. I sometimes prefer "partner" since we are not so conventional, though like you said, I'm not nearly cool enough to live up to that idea, either.. Mostly, I say, "This is Richard" (a whole person who happens to choose me on a daily basis).

    Who gives a shit about the rest?

    Hi. I'm Ginger. You were two ahead of me on roll call this morning. (p.s. Cork is lovely!!)

  6. just 'Other half'... that's what we still use a lot even though we are married 4 years now. Husband and wife sounds as if we're old.