Thursday, May 27, 2010

Before and After

Dearest darling daughter,

While I greatly appreciate your having a poo BEFORE you went to bed, I would have muchly preferred if it hadn't been AFTER I changed your nappy...


Your loving Mother

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Lesson Learned

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

The tiny one was set to "Super Whinge" as she only got about 8 hours sleep on account of deciding that 8:00pm was an unacceptable bedtime and that half eleven suited her much better thank you very much.

The Snot Queen simply hates to be outdone at anything and so cranked the whinge factor up to max in order to outdo her tiny cohort.

My brain was short circuiting and they had discovered my hideaway in the utility room.

It was time for drastic measures.

Two open cupboards and a roll of nappy liners later and the two were happily esconced in destroying what little order was left in the kitchen. There was nothing to hurt them in the cupboards and the liners could be thrown in a bag later so I felt pretty confident in turning my back on the two to answer a few emails and do a little facebooking.

Classic beginner's mistake.

Never turn your back on thine enemy.

My stress levels were just starting to return to something vaguely resembling "normal" when the sound of water splashing had them skyrocketing again.

Only it wasn't water.

It was soymilk.

A full litre of it to be precise, removed from the fridge by two year old hands and poured as carefully as a two year old can into a plastic mixing bowl which was now serving as a mini paddling pool for the tiny one.

Is it too early to start drinking yet?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Summer's Here! (and gone again...)

At 10:52 this morning, the Irish Summer began. From behind a rolling bank of grey clouds, a single ray of sun burst through.

Excitement began to grow inside of me...

Within a few minutes, the tiny hole grew and soon the sky was a glorious blue and the heat of the sun was causing steam to rise from my garden.

Quick as a flash, I had the clothes on the line and was filling up the kiddy pool.

The snot queen was running round the garden in all her naked glory, lapping up reams of vitamin D into her pale Irish limbs while her ginger sister slept away in a pouch on my back.

It was beautiful.

I raced inside to grab the last bucket of water for the pool and as I poured it in, a cool breeze floated chillingly round my legs...

I looked up in time to see the bank of grey clouds roll back into place, squelching the last of the summer's rays.

Irish Summer, 2010: 10:42am -11:37am

It was nice while it lasted...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Pooh Stinks!




Here's a riddle.

What's slimy and beige with little black kiwi seeds in it and a stink that would curl your toes?

Hint: It's also all over the snot queen's hands.

Another Hint: There is a good chance that the entire sitting room will now need a good disinfecting.

Final Hint (Just for the hell of it!): The discovery was heralded by the snot queen holding up her hands and shouting "POOH STINKY!"

My 2 year old has made a new discovery. Poo. She is obsessed with it. Her own, her sister's and anyone else's she happens to come across.

She was delirious with joy when she found some of the cow's doings when we visited nanny and granda on the weekend and yesterday's walk home from the shops (a five minute journey for the average adult) took the better part of an hour thanks to the inconsiderate dog owners who regularly leave their animal's excrement on the foot path.

She has also discovered where poo comes from. Namely, her nappy, and insists on reaching inside everytime she does a number two to see what came out.

Next stop, Potty Training.

This should be fun...

Monday, May 17, 2010

Musings of a wannabe backflipper...

Mmmm... I was just sitting here thinking "I really should blog about something, but what?" When I took a mosey over to lookingforbluesky and lo and behold, she'd tagged me in a 15 things... meme. So here, for your enjoyment (and because I know you've been dying to know even MORE about me...) are 15 things you may not have known about me...

1. Things that scare me
I've decided to amend this one to read "Things that used to scare me, but don't anymore - or at least not quite as much!"

- Leaving the house without makeup on. Seriously. This used to be a very big concern of mine. I would love to go back in time and have a long, hard chat with my 22 year old self. Of course, no way would she listen to me, she'd be too distracted by my "desperately need to be plucked but my husband borrowed my tweezers to pull out a splinter three months ago and I haven't seen them since" eyebrows.

- Big spiders and flying bugs that sting: Okay, so I'm still working on this one, but I am getting better! Just last week, I evicted 2 bees from the house without doing the "Bee Dance" or singing/screaming the "Bee Song." I really don't want my girls to grow up afraid of these kind of things. I want them to be the really impressive women who scoop up spiders in their bare hands and release them into the back garden.

2. People who make me laugh
My big sister has always been able to make me laugh until I cried (or cry until I laughed depending on the circumstances!) In fact, my whole family is pretty funny. We're big subscribers to the whole "If you don't laugh, you'll cry!" way of living which tends to make places like funerals and Christmas Eve church services pretty awkward places to be...

3. Things I hate most



Excess packaging. Seriously! Was there any need to SCREW my daughters cheapo plastic BUBBLE MOWER into it's casing requring a SCREWDRIVER to get it out?!?!?!? WTF?

4. Things I don't understand
Why doctors don't receive more training in Nutrition and Breastfeeding.

Why we allow our governments to regularly screw us over royally and yet still keep them in their jobs while hundreds of thousands of us are losing ours.

Why my children don't get as excited about sleep as I do. Seriously? If someone came up to me and offered me 12 hours of blissful slumber, I'd be in my pj's and tucked up tight quicker then you can say "sleep deprivation is a cruel and unusual form of punishment!"

5. Things I am doing right now

Eating a bowl of chips fresh from the oven in my daughter's plastic "Best Kid ever" bowl which actually belonged to her daddy when he was a little boy. (All together now, "Aaaaaaw!")

Listening to Country Western Music on the internet. Yup. That's right. You heard me.
Good music is good music is good music. Be it country, rock, pop, jazz... whatever. No one could ever call me a snob when it comes to my music. I love it all!

Writing this list and thinking about going grocery shopping with the kiddos when they wake up.

Thinking about making myself a cappuccinno...

Listening to my neighbor mowing the lawn and smiling because it isn't raining and the forecast is looking good...

6. Things to do before I die

Learn to do a backflip.

Take a dance class.

Sing a song of my own in public.

Get published.

Do a tour of Europe.

Be a good example for my children.

Watch them grow up to be happy, healthy people with lives full of love, curiosity, peace, knowledge and adventure.

7. Things I can do

Sing and dance myself into a better mood when I'm feeling down :)

Make my daughters smile and laugh

Love my friends and family

Bring my feet over my back and head to touch my nose.

My best.

8. Ways to describe my personality





9. Things I can't do

Back flips - Yet...

Vote in Ireland - yet...

Leave the country - until I get my passport renewed. Seriously, must get on with this!

10. Things I think you should listen to

Your gut.


The birds.

Your kids.

11. Things you should never listen to




and other ignorant folk...

12. Things I'd like to learn

How to be effortlessly chic! This is a skill which has eluded me for thirty years and which to be perfectly honest, I don't think I will ever learn...

How to do a backflip. Somehow, I think my life will be immeasurably improved if I could just manage this one skill...

13. My favourite foods:

Mmmmm.... Mrs Crimble's coconut macaroons. Oh my YUM!!!!

The fresh meat soup my grandfather used to make and that my parents do a pretty good job of as well. I could eat it by the bucketload and intend on learning to make it when my parents come to visit...

Sweet Poatoes. Baked, Boiled, Roasted, you name it... Hands down, favourite all time veg!

14. Beverages I drink regularly
Coffee (also known as "something hot to dunk a biscuit in.")

Water. Yes, it's boring but it's true. And when you're tandem nursing two children, it's essential!

Wine. Again... when you're tandem nursing two children, it's essential indeed!

15. What I did to the kids in order to get the time to write this blog...

The darling loves slept for the majority of it but when they woke, I cleverly scattered their lunch all over the kitchen floor and left them to it...

Three people I would love to see tackle this are:

Artyfeminist I know you're on holidays, but maybe this will give you inspiration when you get back!

Young and Younger


Friday, May 14, 2010

An Unplanned Rant...

AAAGGGHHHH!!!!! BLECH! GRRPPPP!!!! - splutter, splutter, choke - OMG!!!! I don't know where to begin. I just had the great misfortune to catch a few of this week's parenting segments on Ireland A.M and to be quite honest, I don't even know if I can continue typing, such is my disgust at the sheer amount of absolute rubbish being presented.

First off, the segment on Ann Sinnott, author of "Brastfeding Older Children," had the potential to educate people on this taboo topic. Instead, the female presenter spent the entire time staring at her in absolute shock and horror whilst comparing allowing children to breastfeed for an extended period of time to allowing kids to stay up late and eat loads of junk food whenever they feel like it.

Her other oh so informed point was that we don't allow babies to remain in nappies till they are 6, so why let them breastfeed? (?!?!?!?!?)

The presenters proceeded to read out several comments from similarly negative minded viewers whilst ignoring the many voices of support which appeared all over their facebook and twitter pages.

This morning's interview with so called baby expert, Tizzie Hall, (who wrote all of her books before she became a mother herself) dealt with the ever popular topic of infant sleep.

Despite my grievances over the appalling way they handled yesterday's foray into the world of extended breastfeeding, I held out hope for today as they opened the segment with recently published studies which prove that yes, leaving your baby to cry DOES in fact hurt your baby's emotional development.

However, Ms. Hall then proceeded to interpret the study her own way in order to fit with the theories outlined in her own book (plug, plug) which all incorporate some form of controlled crying. Apparently, Ms.Hall can interpret your child's cries and can tell you which ones are real and which ones are a mere form of emotional blackmail on the part of your infant (blood. pressure. rising. will. explode. soon.)

The presenters loved her. Clearly, this was a woman who knew her stuff. Who cared that she only recently became a mother herself and yet wrote all of her books years ago based on her work as a nanny. This woman believed in taking care of the parents' needs first and THAT made sense to them!


Sorry if this is all a bit incoherent and ranty. I only just watched the two segments and had to vent somewhere.

What are your views on extended breastfeeding and controlled crying? (please don't be afraid to be honest, even though you can probably already tell where I sit on these subjects! lol)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

On the Move...

The tiny one is on the move!

Well, technically she's been on the move for awhile as she started crawling four months ago and has been wearing the knee (I would say knees except she really only uses one leg and sort of drags the other along underneath her...) out of all of her trousers ever since.

But this week has marked a new phase in her life so far, perhaps the most exciting chapter to date as our mad little woman has taken her first toddling steps! Yup, that's right, at the tender age of eleven months, our tiny terror is testing the biped waters.

Now, she isn't exactly running or anything and her record for consecutive steps taken is only six, but we're excited none the less.

Her big sister, the snot queen, has also decided that she would like to "learn" to walk as well. So each evening when daddy comes home, we all sit on the floor and take turns walking. First we steady the tiny one on her feet and she takes a few steps before falling into my arms.

Then it's her sisters turn.

Not one to be left out of anything, our 31 lb toddler who has been mobile for well over a year now, insists that we hold her hand at the start to "steady" her after which she takes one or two teeny tiny steps before collapsing in a heap on the floor with the effort of it all. It really is quite cute.

Almost as cute as when she insists on being put back into the tigger style door bouncer or when she climbs into her sister's highchair...

Anyone else's babies needing a little extra "babying" these days?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Tummy bugs and Tyrants...

Oh where, oh where has mammydiaries gone, oh where oh where can she be?

If you said "crazy," you're pretty close.

If you said, "vomiting violently after picking up a particularly nasty tummy bug from our local cesspool of filth and disease/indoor kiddie play area," then you'd be right on the money.

Other reasons to explain my absence of late include (but are far, far from limited to...)

- An internet connection so bad, that just turning on the laptop was enough to have me breaking out in hives. This did not bode well for the "peaceful, earth mother" vibe I've been trying to put out around the girls. Nor did it bode well for my laptop, which almost ended up on the front lawn on many occasions...

- Chasing after a certain 11 month old daredevil. If it ain't dangerous, she ain't interested.

- Said same daredevil also does a mean koala impersonation. When she isn't climbing the furniture or playing with knives, she can usually be found desperately clinging to some part of my anatomy. Not the most conducive to successful blogging...

- Writing. Yes, I do still do that! And since receiving interest from an agent have been stepping up the pace and trying desperately to tie up any and all loose ends.

- Studying for my theory test which I will be taking for the ahem... third time this Saturday.

I'm sure there are many other reasons, but my sleep deprived brain is begging me to take advantage of the quiet and head to bed. I'm wrecked!

Bump and Beyond Galway

For anyone planning on being in the Galway area next weekend, The good ladies at are holding a Bump & Beyond Expo for pregnant mums and new parents on Sunday, May 9th at The Ardilaun.

Mykidstime is a website started by two mums in Galway and has grown from there, it’s all about things to do for your kids, and it's full of baby resources for new parents so that they know where to find things like baby swim, baby massage and other ideas to keep from cracking up in those early days with a new baby!

For the Expo they have arranged for some great speakers:

· Therese Ryan, one of Ireland’s leading Stress Management and Wellbeing Experts. She also featured in RTE’s health show “How long will you live?”.

· There will be a Baby Massage demo with Mary Kenny of Eden Massage and Swim who is a trained physiotherapist and member of the Irish Massage Therapist Association and Embody.

· Mary Joyce will be there on the day. She is a trained registered nurse with the HSE, and a practitioner of the holistic arts both in Ireland and the USA. Her focus is "Health from within" and "Feel Good Food". Mary recently appeared along with Maureen Fynes on RTE’s Dragon's Den in connection with their Feel Good Food Superfood Energy Snack.

· Nuria Lopez, fitness instructor, will be giving tips on pre-natal and post natal fitness

There will even be a free portrait sitting for each new baby on the day!

I won't be there as I'll be sitting my theory test for the um... third time, but it sounds like good fun, so I hope you get to go check it out.

Now, off to write about the vomiting bug, the internet that refuses to work and the laptop which will shortly be finding a new home on the front lawn...