Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dear Moon...

Dear Moon, Whatever crazy tide/water/magic no sleeping effect you have on my daughter, could you please turn it off now? As much fun as surfing the internet is at 2:45am with a 14month old, I really would like some sleep... Thank you. x

Sunday, August 15, 2010

What are the odds?

My weighing scales are broken.

I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, maybe a loose connection? A low battery perhaps? Whatever, the end result is the same in that it keeps insisting that I am 9 pounds heavier then I actually am.

This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that my measuring tape is off as well! I don't know how this one happened. Probably someone accidentally put it in the wash and shrank it and then panicked when they realized what had happened and so put it back in my sewing box exactly as they'd found it. No matter, the end result is the same. The numbers are now so close together that it is saying my measurements are a full inch BIGGER then what they should be.

It probably got put in the same load that shrank my pants last week and had me standing on the scales in the first place...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dear Volcano...

Dear Icelandic Volcano,

YOU SUCK!

I didn't ask for much you know, just a few puffs of ash, maybe a little ominous rumbling, whatever... Just enough to close Irish airspace for a few days. But Noooooooooo.... Stupid volcano, you had to remain calm and settled and cool as a flippin' cucumber while my lovely, wonderful mom who I've gotten to spend the last five weeks with, got on a plane and flew back to Canada.

WTF?!?!?

A few months ago, we couldn't PAY you to turn it off! My in laws got a week's extension on their holidays because of you! Oooh look at me! I'm a volcano! Fire and ash spewing everywhere! Spew, spew, spew, all day long. That's what I do! Irish airspace? HA! No one's getting in or out of there until I say so!

Everyday, the papers and tv's were full of you! You were everywhere!!! You couldn't spit without hitting yet another report of how you'd affected someone else's life/holiday/business.

Now though? When I really needed you?

Not a whisper.

Not even enough heat to toast a marshmallow.

You let me down Volcano.

And no, there's nothing you can do to make it up to me.

All I wanted was one more day (week, month, a year would have been lovely...)with my mom, but you couldn't even manage that.

Stupid volcano.

Your (disappointed) friend,

Maria x