My weighing scales are broken.
I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, maybe a loose connection? A low battery perhaps? Whatever, the end result is the same in that it keeps insisting that I am 9 pounds heavier then I actually am.
This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that my measuring tape is off as well! I don't know how this one happened. Probably someone accidentally put it in the wash and shrank it and then panicked when they realized what had happened and so put it back in my sewing box exactly as they'd found it. No matter, the end result is the same. The numbers are now so close together that it is saying my measurements are a full inch BIGGER then what they should be.
It probably got put in the same load that shrank my pants last week and had me standing on the scales in the first place...