Dear Icelandic Volcano,
I didn't ask for much you know, just a few puffs of ash, maybe a little ominous rumbling, whatever... Just enough to close Irish airspace for a few days. But Noooooooooo.... Stupid volcano, you had to remain calm and settled and cool as a flippin' cucumber while my lovely, wonderful mom who I've gotten to spend the last five weeks with, got on a plane and flew back to Canada.
A few months ago, we couldn't PAY you to turn it off! My in laws got a week's extension on their holidays because of you! Oooh look at me! I'm a volcano! Fire and ash spewing everywhere! Spew, spew, spew, all day long. That's what I do! Irish airspace? HA! No one's getting in or out of there until I say so!
Everyday, the papers and tv's were full of you! You were everywhere!!! You couldn't spit without hitting yet another report of how you'd affected someone else's life/holiday/business.
Now though? When I really needed you?
Not a whisper.
Not even enough heat to toast a marshmallow.
You let me down Volcano.
And no, there's nothing you can do to make it up to me.
All I wanted was one more day (week, month, a year would have been lovely...)with my mom, but you couldn't even manage that.
Your (disappointed) friend,