Thursday, March 19, 2009

Achy Breaky Hips (The New Hit Single)

(To the tune of "Achy Breaky heart," Don't pretend you don't know it!)

(chorus) Oh my god! My hips, my achy breaky hips,
They don't seem to like it when I stand!
If I bend to reach the floor, or try to walk right out the door,
They just seize up and hurt this mam!

oooooooooooooh!


I don't like it one bit, I used to be so fit
I could pull my leg right back over my head
But now my body's F*cked, ever since I got knocked up
I can't even get comfortable in bed


I can't take it anymore, can't even make it to the store,
I can't even reach my toes to tie my shoes,
My love wants to get frisky but I think I'd slip a disky
and I feel about as sexy as a moose

(Chorus)


I know this ain't forever, that one day it will get better
Like kidney stones and Gallstones "this shall pass"
And I know that I look funny but don't make me giggle honey
cause I pee a little every time I laugh!

So listen up and learn, if you don't want your joints to burn
every time you do it for gods sake use protection
and I'm not talkin' bout withdrawal or else you're guaranteed to fall
into a little place known round here as conception

Oh my god! My hips, my achy breaky hips,
They don't seem to like it when I stand!
If I bend to reach the floor, or try to walk right out the door,
They just seize up and hurt this mam!

oooooooooooooh!

(Repeat Chorus)

5 comments:

  1. you dont have to write a book, just put all your blog rantings together and send them off, instant bestseller! That goes for Jen too! I am going to ditch my blog, it wouldn't be half as humourous or thoughtful as yours!!!

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  2. Where is your blog to Chris? I can never find it!

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  3. I dont have one! Havent come up with a name for it for a start.....

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  4. jen dont pyl too hard...the pelvic floor muscle aint what it used to be!

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