Oh God. I have found my dream house.... In my head, I have mentally moved in already. I have washed the dishes in the utility room whilst watching my clothes dry in the breeze out back. I have had the other mums and babies over to play and they've been able to find parking OUTSIDE MY HOUSE instead of ten miles away down a dark and dingy side street and get this, they don't have to worry about being clamped!
We can sit in the sunny SECOND SITTING ROOM drinking coffee and eating the biscuits and bread I made in the most cheerful, spacious, kitchen known to mankind just that morning while the small ones run in and out of the patio doors to the garden. As this is a fantasy, I have overlooked the fact that only two members of our group are walking yet and that one of them has a phobia of the ground after a bad experience involving an uphill climb... I have also made all of their little hands and feet dirt proof so as to prevent any of them transferring the great outdoors to the even greater indoors.
My own fear of bugs has completely vanished as I have planted the backyard with several of my favourite herbs and possibly a few veg as well! Back inside, my own paintings hang on the walls and the many shelves are filled with our books. One of the FOUR bedrooms has been turned into an office/music room and another will serve as a guest room when my mother comes to visit after the new baby arrives.
The baby will obviously be good natured, a good feeder and will sleep through the night from the start and nap when his or her big sister naps as well, thus allowing mommy, who, after a few weeks pushing a double buggy up that blessed hill, is a slim and trim size ten (remember folks, this is a FANTASY!!!) plenty of time to work on her second book, her first having been accepted for publication by a well known publishing house for a staggering sum shortly after moving into fantasyland.
As a final touch, Mr.Cowen will reverse the pension levy and take his fat, sticky hands out of my partner's wages. Perhaps then we can begin to make our dreams a reality...