Incredible Employment Oppurtunity

It's great to know that even in the middle of a recession, some jobs are always open:

Position Available: The successful candidate needn't have any prior experience, but a willingness to learn and the ability to think outside the box would definitely come in handy! Patience is a must as your boss can be quite demanding at times and will expect your complete and utter devotion.

You will be expected to fill a variety of roles, including, but definitely not limited to the following;
Chef, entertainer, chaffeur, (verrrrrry) personal assistant, groomer, stylist, housekeeper, nurse, teacher and general dogsbody. The ability to kiss it better is essential.

The hours are long. In fact, you can expect to be on call 24/7 and in the early days, most of those 24 hours will definitely be required. You will learn to function on little to no sleep and will become accustomed to being covered in someone else's bodily fluids.

There are days when you will have neither the time nor the inclination to shower and /or dress and when you do get around to it you will have to ensure that your boss is safely stowed and entertained for the thirty seconds you will most likely be allotted to rinse yourself off.

Your breaks will depend on if and when the boss takes a nap.

At this point in time, the position is for the most part largely unpaid, unless of course you count smiles and laughs and sticky faced kisses as currency. However, if hired, the job is yours for life and comes with an incredible benefit package including (but not limited to) the unconditional love and devotion of your boss and the type of job satisfaction for which there are no words.

Happy Mother's Day.