Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Dear Moon...
Dear Moon, Whatever crazy tide/water/magic no sleeping effect you have on my daughter, could you please turn it off now? As much fun as surfing the internet is at 2:45am with a 14month old, I really would like some sleep... Thank you. x
Sunday, August 15, 2010
What are the odds?
My weighing scales are broken.
I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, maybe a loose connection? A low battery perhaps? Whatever, the end result is the same in that it keeps insisting that I am 9 pounds heavier then I actually am.
This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that my measuring tape is off as well! I don't know how this one happened. Probably someone accidentally put it in the wash and shrank it and then panicked when they realized what had happened and so put it back in my sewing box exactly as they'd found it. No matter, the end result is the same. The numbers are now so close together that it is saying my measurements are a full inch BIGGER then what they should be.
It probably got put in the same load that shrank my pants last week and had me standing on the scales in the first place...
I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, maybe a loose connection? A low battery perhaps? Whatever, the end result is the same in that it keeps insisting that I am 9 pounds heavier then I actually am.
This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that my measuring tape is off as well! I don't know how this one happened. Probably someone accidentally put it in the wash and shrank it and then panicked when they realized what had happened and so put it back in my sewing box exactly as they'd found it. No matter, the end result is the same. The numbers are now so close together that it is saying my measurements are a full inch BIGGER then what they should be.
It probably got put in the same load that shrank my pants last week and had me standing on the scales in the first place...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Dear Volcano...
Dear Icelandic Volcano,
YOU SUCK!
I didn't ask for much you know, just a few puffs of ash, maybe a little ominous rumbling, whatever... Just enough to close Irish airspace for a few days. But Noooooooooo.... Stupid volcano, you had to remain calm and settled and cool as a flippin' cucumber while my lovely, wonderful mom who I've gotten to spend the last five weeks with, got on a plane and flew back to Canada.
WTF?!?!?
A few months ago, we couldn't PAY you to turn it off! My in laws got a week's extension on their holidays because of you! Oooh look at me! I'm a volcano! Fire and ash spewing everywhere! Spew, spew, spew, all day long. That's what I do! Irish airspace? HA! No one's getting in or out of there until I say so!
Everyday, the papers and tv's were full of you! You were everywhere!!! You couldn't spit without hitting yet another report of how you'd affected someone else's life/holiday/business.
Now though? When I really needed you?
Not a whisper.
Not even enough heat to toast a marshmallow.
You let me down Volcano.
And no, there's nothing you can do to make it up to me.
All I wanted was one more day (week, month, a year would have been lovely...)with my mom, but you couldn't even manage that.
Stupid volcano.
Your (disappointed) friend,
Maria x
YOU SUCK!
I didn't ask for much you know, just a few puffs of ash, maybe a little ominous rumbling, whatever... Just enough to close Irish airspace for a few days. But Noooooooooo.... Stupid volcano, you had to remain calm and settled and cool as a flippin' cucumber while my lovely, wonderful mom who I've gotten to spend the last five weeks with, got on a plane and flew back to Canada.
WTF?!?!?
A few months ago, we couldn't PAY you to turn it off! My in laws got a week's extension on their holidays because of you! Oooh look at me! I'm a volcano! Fire and ash spewing everywhere! Spew, spew, spew, all day long. That's what I do! Irish airspace? HA! No one's getting in or out of there until I say so!
Everyday, the papers and tv's were full of you! You were everywhere!!! You couldn't spit without hitting yet another report of how you'd affected someone else's life/holiday/business.
Now though? When I really needed you?
Not a whisper.
Not even enough heat to toast a marshmallow.
You let me down Volcano.
And no, there's nothing you can do to make it up to me.
All I wanted was one more day (week, month, a year would have been lovely...)with my mom, but you couldn't even manage that.
Stupid volcano.
Your (disappointed) friend,
Maria x
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Lost art of House Husbandry
Must. Write. Blog.
Must. Come up with. Witty. Musings. On day to day life.
Must. Not. Get. Distracted. By.
A. Abnormally nice weather we've been having lately.
B. Blissfully relaxing new three seater swing in the back garden.
C. Life in general.
Honestly, you'd think that with my husband home full time, I'd now have oodles of empty hours in which to write to my little heart's content. Strangely, that does not seem to be the case.
For starters, said husband has needed a little training up in the art of House - husbandry. Lessons such as "Where to locate the washing machine and how exactly to operate it" and "Why having a lie in and then proceeding to come into the kitchen and turn on the internet while I'm busting my hump feeding the kids, cleaning the kitchen, creating world peace, etc... is likely to get you killed or at the very least seriously maimed," have been a complete and utter success!
In fact, I'm pleased to say that operation "House Husband," has - aside from a few small growing pains - been going very well indeed! My student is showing a particular proficiency in the area of laundry and every day becomes more and more aware of the chaos around him to which he was previously oblivious(Dirty dishes in the sink? Didn't see 'em! Giant pile of clothes on the stairs? Walked right over it!)
He is even... dare I say it? Beginning to self motivate. Just yesterday I caught him putting a load of nappies in to wash and for the last two weeks, the bedtime routine of the snot queen has been his domain while I've looked after the (not so) tiny one.
Things are going so well. I suppose I'm a bit afraid to rock the boat and throw him into the deep end (i.e in full charge of the house AND the girls for an extended period of time) lest he suddenly decides that this whole "at home" lark isn't all it's cracked up to be and does the unthinkable...
Goes back to work.
Registration for the next session of "House Husbandry" commences soon. Places are limited. Early booking is recommended.
Must. Come up with. Witty. Musings. On day to day life.
Must. Not. Get. Distracted. By.
A. Abnormally nice weather we've been having lately.
B. Blissfully relaxing new three seater swing in the back garden.
C. Life in general.
Honestly, you'd think that with my husband home full time, I'd now have oodles of empty hours in which to write to my little heart's content. Strangely, that does not seem to be the case.
For starters, said husband has needed a little training up in the art of House - husbandry. Lessons such as "Where to locate the washing machine and how exactly to operate it" and "Why having a lie in and then proceeding to come into the kitchen and turn on the internet while I'm busting my hump feeding the kids, cleaning the kitchen, creating world peace, etc... is likely to get you killed or at the very least seriously maimed," have been a complete and utter success!
In fact, I'm pleased to say that operation "House Husband," has - aside from a few small growing pains - been going very well indeed! My student is showing a particular proficiency in the area of laundry and every day becomes more and more aware of the chaos around him to which he was previously oblivious(Dirty dishes in the sink? Didn't see 'em! Giant pile of clothes on the stairs? Walked right over it!)
He is even... dare I say it? Beginning to self motivate. Just yesterday I caught him putting a load of nappies in to wash and for the last two weeks, the bedtime routine of the snot queen has been his domain while I've looked after the (not so) tiny one.
Things are going so well. I suppose I'm a bit afraid to rock the boat and throw him into the deep end (i.e in full charge of the house AND the girls for an extended period of time) lest he suddenly decides that this whole "at home" lark isn't all it's cracked up to be and does the unthinkable...
Goes back to work.
Registration for the next session of "House Husbandry" commences soon. Places are limited. Early booking is recommended.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Carpe Diem
Mmmmmm....
Life is good.
I know, I know... Logically, this shouldn't be so. After all, if you look at the facts, i.e my husband's just lost his job and we have no idea when or where he will next find work, I should be feeling a little more tense, a little more worried...
But I'm not.
I love having him at home. I love spending time together as a family. I love knowing that when things get rough (as they tend to do regularly when you have small ones) that there's an extra set of hands ready and willing to chip in.
I'm enjoying my children more then ever because I'm no longer trying to do everything on my own.
I'm spending actual, quality time with my husband as opposed to simply seeing him as the relief team in the evenings and at times resenting him for not understanding how hard it is to be at home and how badly I need his help.
The girls are loving having him around all the time instead of merely for an hour or two in the evenings before bed and they're loving their new relaxed mama as well!
I know it can't last forever, but while it does, I'm going to grab onto it and squeeze for all it's worth.
Life is good.
I know, I know... Logically, this shouldn't be so. After all, if you look at the facts, i.e my husband's just lost his job and we have no idea when or where he will next find work, I should be feeling a little more tense, a little more worried...
But I'm not.
I love having him at home. I love spending time together as a family. I love knowing that when things get rough (as they tend to do regularly when you have small ones) that there's an extra set of hands ready and willing to chip in.
I'm enjoying my children more then ever because I'm no longer trying to do everything on my own.
I'm spending actual, quality time with my husband as opposed to simply seeing him as the relief team in the evenings and at times resenting him for not understanding how hard it is to be at home and how badly I need his help.
The girls are loving having him around all the time instead of merely for an hour or two in the evenings before bed and they're loving their new relaxed mama as well!
I know it can't last forever, but while it does, I'm going to grab onto it and squeeze for all it's worth.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
London Calling!
A trip?
A trip to LONDON?
A trip to London TRAVEL EXPENSES PAID?!?!?!?
A trip to London, travel expenses paid, with the chance of a free meal and SPA TREATMENTS?!?!?!?
Oh. My. God.
Yes dear readers, the good folk at Reebok have seen the great potential which lies within my dear sweet self and wish to whisk me away to London this weekend.
In my mind, I've already imagined the endless number of life changing scenarios which could arise. This one is my favourite;
Scenario A: The one in which I replace Kelly Brook..
The scene: A sports field in London. Hundreds of women in Reebok Gear are milling about. I stand on my own, a cheerful smile on my face. The head of Reebok approaches me. We make small talk and then he gets to the heart of the matter...
H.O.R: Kelly Brook isn't working out.
Me: What? But that's impossible!!! WTF? How the hell did she get an arse like that without working out?!?!?!? this is SOOOOOOOOO not fair!
H.O.R: No! No no no!!!! Of course she works out! Never leaves the gym in fact, except to do our ads! It isn't humanly possible to look like her and still have a life! What I mean is that her ad campaign isn't working out!
Me: Oooooh! Okay, that makes more sense...
H.O.R: (continuing on) She's just too damn perfect! It isn't realistic, no one in their right mind could ever expect to look like her simply by wearing a new pair of trainers...
(Stops. Stares at me. Points rather rudely.)
You! What size are you?
Me: About a 12?
H.O.R: You got kids?
Me: I do. Two.
H.O.R: Stretchmarks?
Me: Oh yes! Well, a few small ones anyway...
H.O.R: That frizz in your hair, is it Natural?
Me: Unfortunately yes...
H.O.R: You eat biscuits?
Me: Of course!
H.O.R: (Ignores me, keeps on talking.) ...hmmm....bit of junk in the trunk... no real sense of style... YOU'RE HIRED!
Me: Huh?
H.O.R: You're just what we need! Someone real, someone flawed, someone with a little jiggle in her wiggle... NO ONE can look like Kelly Brook, but ANYONE could look like you! Hell, even I could look like you! Young lady, how would you like to be the new face of Reebok?
Me: Okay!
H.O.R: Excellent! sign here, your truckload of money will be delivered in the morning. Thank you for saving my company! Now, would you like to join me for a celebratory lunch on my yacht?
End Scene.
Alas, I will not be meeting the Head of Reebok in London for life changing scenario A this weekend. In fact, I will be nowhere near London this weekend.
No London.
No free Travel.
No free meal.
No complimentary spa treatments.
Why, you ask?
IT's simple really. Mid way through writing my hyper excited acceptance letter to the good folk at Reebok, I remembered something.
My passport expired three months ago.
This alone was not enough to stop me and I immediately set about harassing the staff at the Canadian Embassy who were extremely accomodating and agreed that yes, a free trip to London was indeed a valid reason to get a temporary passport.
Unfortunately, this would involve an overnight trip to Dublin complete with hotel, passport costs, fuel costs, food, etc...
Not even I could justify this one.
Oh well! at least it's a kick to get my passport sorted!
A trip to LONDON?
A trip to London TRAVEL EXPENSES PAID?!?!?!?
A trip to London, travel expenses paid, with the chance of a free meal and SPA TREATMENTS?!?!?!?
Oh. My. God.
Yes dear readers, the good folk at Reebok have seen the great potential which lies within my dear sweet self and wish to whisk me away to London this weekend.
In my mind, I've already imagined the endless number of life changing scenarios which could arise. This one is my favourite;
Scenario A: The one in which I replace Kelly Brook..
The scene: A sports field in London. Hundreds of women in Reebok Gear are milling about. I stand on my own, a cheerful smile on my face. The head of Reebok approaches me. We make small talk and then he gets to the heart of the matter...
H.O.R: Kelly Brook isn't working out.
Me: What? But that's impossible!!! WTF? How the hell did she get an arse like that without working out?!?!?!? this is SOOOOOOOOO not fair!
H.O.R: No! No no no!!!! Of course she works out! Never leaves the gym in fact, except to do our ads! It isn't humanly possible to look like her and still have a life! What I mean is that her ad campaign isn't working out!
Me: Oooooh! Okay, that makes more sense...
H.O.R: (continuing on) She's just too damn perfect! It isn't realistic, no one in their right mind could ever expect to look like her simply by wearing a new pair of trainers...
(Stops. Stares at me. Points rather rudely.)
You! What size are you?
Me: About a 12?
H.O.R: You got kids?
Me: I do. Two.
H.O.R: Stretchmarks?
Me: Oh yes! Well, a few small ones anyway...
H.O.R: That frizz in your hair, is it Natural?
Me: Unfortunately yes...
H.O.R: You eat biscuits?
Me: Of course!
H.O.R: (Ignores me, keeps on talking.) ...hmmm....bit of junk in the trunk... no real sense of style... YOU'RE HIRED!
Me: Huh?
H.O.R: You're just what we need! Someone real, someone flawed, someone with a little jiggle in her wiggle... NO ONE can look like Kelly Brook, but ANYONE could look like you! Hell, even I could look like you! Young lady, how would you like to be the new face of Reebok?
Me: Okay!
H.O.R: Excellent! sign here, your truckload of money will be delivered in the morning. Thank you for saving my company! Now, would you like to join me for a celebratory lunch on my yacht?
End Scene.
Alas, I will not be meeting the Head of Reebok in London for life changing scenario A this weekend. In fact, I will be nowhere near London this weekend.
No London.
No free Travel.
No free meal.
No complimentary spa treatments.
Why, you ask?
IT's simple really. Mid way through writing my hyper excited acceptance letter to the good folk at Reebok, I remembered something.
My passport expired three months ago.
This alone was not enough to stop me and I immediately set about harassing the staff at the Canadian Embassy who were extremely accomodating and agreed that yes, a free trip to London was indeed a valid reason to get a temporary passport.
Unfortunately, this would involve an overnight trip to Dublin complete with hotel, passport costs, fuel costs, food, etc...
Not even I could justify this one.
Oh well! at least it's a kick to get my passport sorted!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A wee update...
You may be wondering where I've been lately.
The truth of the matter is, a lot of things have been happening in my life recently and for the last week or so, I've had to practice the ancient art of whatever the hell the opposite of multi tasking is or risk having my head explode into a thousand tiny pieces.
For starters, the recession over here in Ireland finally hit home as the funding dried up for the research project my husband was working on and we found ourselves joining the almost half a million Irish men and women who are currently unemployed.
Obviously, the situation is far from ideal, but we're making the best of it and have decided to look on the bright side and appreciate the extra time we can now spend together as a family. The girls are loving having their daddy around all the time and I've become very quickly accustomed to having an extra set of hands at my beck and call!
We've also grabbed the oppurtunity of having the both of us around to tackle the momentous occasion that is; THE TOILET TRAINING OF THE SNOT QUEEN!!!!!
Yup! That's right! After 2 years, 5 months and several thousand nappy changes, the time has come.
We tried it a few months back and she just wasn't ready, so we temporarily shelved it until about a month back when she started not only telling us when she was pooing, but taking it out of her nappy and showing us as well. After two weeks of chasing a poo covered toddler around the house and disinfecting our downstairs too many times to count... we finally put our game faces on and set to the task at hand.
Armed with a white board, a sticker chart, several different potties, toilet seat adapters and the tiniest knickers known to man, we got down to business and I have to say, it hasn't been nearly as scary as I thought it would be!
Sure we've had a few accidents along the way and sure not all of them have been in our house (at this time I would like to apologise to our neighbors for the “present” left to them on their walkway, the other one on their kitchen floor and the tiny one on their lovely white chair cushions in their kitchen... I understand completely if we do not recieve a Christmas card from you this year.) but over all, she's doing great, and it's actually kind of fun to really let loose and celebrate something several times a day... even if it is just a potty full of pee.
The truth of the matter is, a lot of things have been happening in my life recently and for the last week or so, I've had to practice the ancient art of whatever the hell the opposite of multi tasking is or risk having my head explode into a thousand tiny pieces.
For starters, the recession over here in Ireland finally hit home as the funding dried up for the research project my husband was working on and we found ourselves joining the almost half a million Irish men and women who are currently unemployed.
Obviously, the situation is far from ideal, but we're making the best of it and have decided to look on the bright side and appreciate the extra time we can now spend together as a family. The girls are loving having their daddy around all the time and I've become very quickly accustomed to having an extra set of hands at my beck and call!
We've also grabbed the oppurtunity of having the both of us around to tackle the momentous occasion that is; THE TOILET TRAINING OF THE SNOT QUEEN!!!!!
Yup! That's right! After 2 years, 5 months and several thousand nappy changes, the time has come.
We tried it a few months back and she just wasn't ready, so we temporarily shelved it until about a month back when she started not only telling us when she was pooing, but taking it out of her nappy and showing us as well. After two weeks of chasing a poo covered toddler around the house and disinfecting our downstairs too many times to count... we finally put our game faces on and set to the task at hand.
Armed with a white board, a sticker chart, several different potties, toilet seat adapters and the tiniest knickers known to man, we got down to business and I have to say, it hasn't been nearly as scary as I thought it would be!
Sure we've had a few accidents along the way and sure not all of them have been in our house (at this time I would like to apologise to our neighbors for the “present” left to them on their walkway, the other one on their kitchen floor and the tiny one on their lovely white chair cushions in their kitchen... I understand completely if we do not recieve a Christmas card from you this year.) but over all, she's doing great, and it's actually kind of fun to really let loose and celebrate something several times a day... even if it is just a potty full of pee.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)