It's 5:23 in the morning. It's been just over 3 hours since the Snot Queen decided that enough was enough with all this sleep malarkey and declared herself open for business.
The fact that she is still playing merrily away and completely oblivious to the twitching pile of simmering rage that is currently masquerading as her mother is a testament to my ever stretched patience.
I am within sniffing distance of a complete and utter mental breakdown.
Which brings me to my latest batch of early morning offerings. And so, without further adieu, I present to you "Things that are cute in the daytime but not so much at 2:30/3:30/anytime when common decency decrees I should be sleeping and the Snot Queen deems otherwise..."
Cute: The Snot Queen's latest talent for belting out the alphabet (minus a letter or twenty.)
Not So Cute? Any concerts which occur in the middle of the night with the small one sleeping just a few feet away.
Cute: When she screams out a stream of unintelligible gibberish and then breaks into hysterical laughter as though she's just told the funniest joke EVER!
Not so Cute? When she screams out said stream of unintelligible gibberish and hysterical laughter, right into your ear as you rock yourself back and forth and wait for sleep, death or madness to claim you. Whatever comes first.
Cute: When she points out her eyes, ears, mouth, nose, shoulders and belly to you.
Not so cute? When you return to the bedroom after a quick sanity break to find her pointing out said features on her (miraculously) still sleeping sister.
Cute: The way she considers doing what I ask her and then says no and giggles helplessly.
Not so cute? When what I'm asking her is to please just GO TO SLEEP BEFORE THE RED HAZE DESCENDS AGAIN AND YOU BECOME WELL AQUAINTD WITH THE FRONT LAWN!!!!!!!
Cute: Pretty much anything she does these days!
Not so cute? Anything she does between the hours of midnight and the alarm going off.
Night! (or should I say Morning?)