Thursday, January 7, 2010

P is for Permanent

I have a perm.

Apparently, when I told the stylist "Nice body wave a la Reese Witherspoon," she heard, " Great big perm a la Monica from friends that time they all went to Bermuda."

I made the appointment yesterday afternoon and stressed to the woman on the phone that what I wanted was a body wave, NOT a perm.

So far, so good.

I then proceeded to research bodywaves on the internet so that I would know EXACTLY what to expect. According to the all knowing hair experts on the information highway, my hair would be lovingly wrapped in GINORMOUS rollers, have some setting lotion placed in it and after an hour or so, I would emerge with soft Voluminous waves a la Cheryl Cole in the new L'Oreal ads.

So you can imagine my concern when my hairdresser reached back to 1993 and pulled out a drawerful of fingerwidth perm rods and started wrapping teensy tiny sections of my hair tightly enough to give me an impromptu facelift.

My fear mounted when she started saying things like, "WOW! I can't REMEMBER the last time I gave someone a PERM!!!"

or when the dusty curling rods started cracking after years of neglect...

"I guess it's because I haven't given anyone a PERM in years!"

(ummm... That's nice, but I'm not getting a perm, I'm getting a nice BODYWAVE. Remember? Reese Witherspoon? Cheryl Cole?)

When I asked her how long I could expect my new style to last, she looked at me as though I was stupid.

"Oh Maria! Don't you know that perm stands for PERMANENT?"


Added to that the fact that the only other people in the salon wearing a head full of curlers similar to mine didn't have an original tooth between them and were having an avid discussion about which of their friends were still living independently and well...

Needless to say, my dreams of soft, voluminous curls did not come true. Instead, I have spent the last 24 hours coming to terms with the fact that I am the first person under the age of 100 to get a perm since the early nineties.

Anyone know where I can get a decent pair of hammer pants?


  1. I saw ladies with perms AND stonewashed jeans when Iwas out the other night. But they both looked like they'd been there the first time.

    Bad hair commiserations, dear, I hope it's ok. My best friend in school had a LOVELY perm, she really did.

    Am I right in thinking you're getting/just got married???

  2. OH NO! Ok here is the good news - When I was in 7th grade I got a ringlet perm but turned out I have straighter than straight hair and it all fell out within a week. So maybe yours will be the same? :) (PS mine was in the 8Os).

  3. its ok, I had a perm until recently and was always paranoid about the grannyness of it!! But everyone seemed to love it, I still miss my curls but everyone loves the straight look too. It is not permanent, it will grow out and I bet once you get used to it you will embrace the change. I bet you look gorgeous!

  4. Remember it is all attitude..You can be the one who bring the perm it girl!!!

  5. Jo: YOu are right indeed! Going to post some pics soon :)

    Arty: Congrats again! Thankfully mine is not of the ringlet variety :) More the natural looking "big" variety :)

    Corkmum: Seriously?!?!?! I always assumed your hair was natural! It's lovely!

    This Mama: I am sooooo rocking it! Don't know if I want to take the blame for a worldwide dose of perming though! lol

  6. OMG!!! This post is hilarious. And BTW the Eighties are back. For reals. You are totally in style with a perm and hammer pants. I worship you. Now you just need some fake pearls, mismatched layered socks, and some jeans with zippers at the ankles and you will be all set.

    PS Just found your blog on the Mommyologist's site. You are awesome. Signed up to follow you! Can't wait to read more soon.

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  8. Well at least she didn't make it purple as well!! The good news is that you might just start a new trend and be seen a trendsetter for retro-cool revisited ?? (I had a bad Bon Jovi-esque haircut once and I will never forget it.)
    Try lots of mousse??