"Top Ten "Laugh or Cry' moments of my morning thus far"
10. Watching my daughter pull out all the wipes from the packet at 5:30 in the morning and wondering exactly how many times I can stuff them back in before it officially becomes "Disgustingly Unhygienic."
9. Taking away the wipes only to turn around and find her feeding sock raisins (yes, these would be raisins from the bottom of her sock) to her 7 month old sister.
8. Watching the Snot Queen wander about the kitchen with the "nice" i.e "not plastic" wine glasses and having a brief moment of "Oh well... if it makes her happy..." before coming to my senses and whisking them off of her, thus enduring the inevitable "BUT I WANT TO PLAY WITH THE DANGEROUS THINGS!!!!!" Tantrum that follows.
7. Realizing that I did not in fact manage to put back all of the wipes and that the 2 year old is now feeding it to / vigorously cleaning her little sister.
6. Deciding to turn on the "In case of Emergency/mommy is waaaaaay too tired to deal with this" children's television - only to discover that it will not be on air for another 2 hours because 4am is still THE MIDDLE OF THE FLIPPIN' NIGHT!!!!!
5. Compromising with the Snot Queen that while the "Glass Jars/Fancy Wine Glass" cupboard is now off limits, the dry goods cupboard is not.
4. Fishing the contents of a Raspberry leaf tea bag (yes, from the dry goods cupboard) out of the tiny one's mouth and wondering whether or not it will do her any harm or just give her an incredibly toned uterus.
3. Reaching the stage of sleep deprivation where you start to wonder if any of the other mums would be up for a pre-dawn playdate. Maybe 4am could be the new 10am?
2. Watching with cold dread as the Snot Queen finally makes the almighty connection between chairs and being able to reach things that are normally out of her reach. It's official. Nowhere is Safe.
1. Looking at the clock at 7am and realizing that even though I've been up for 3 hours already, the alarm isn't set to go off for another hour.
Thanks to the lovely "working mama" for tagging me in the "Ten Favourite Things" meme which I have so callously butchered above. I in turn will be passing the buck onto these lovely, witty souls (and urging you to check them out as well!)
Livinginatoybox
Pleasetryagain
Artyfeminist
Diaryofamadmammy
veryboredincatalunya
oh God, that made me laugh out loud with painful recognition.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up!! I think that you and I have a similar sense of humor! I loved the one about the sock raisins!!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant! What is it with babies and wipes??? I thought it was just me.....
ReplyDeleteMade me laugh....again
ReplyDeleteVery funny, thanks for the tag I shall get onto it today. xx
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain .......
ReplyDeleteVery funny and the great thing is that I can now actually relate to some of this stuff :-)
ReplyDeleteMade me giggle! And fear the day that my babies turn into toddlers that want to start the day that early. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
ReplyDeleteGod I was having flashbacks reading this!! I remember being nearly demented through sleep deprivation when my daughter, now 16, was a toddler. She would wake every morning at around 3.30am and stay WIDE awake till 7am when it was time for us to get up and for me to go to work. How I did it I'll never know....and I remember with horror discovering her early one morning eating a jar of Sudocreme. She was fine, but I had the horrors for weeks afterwards - and she had a very runny bum for a day or two after...! Love the blog by the way! Mxx
ReplyDeleteOMG, please call me next time you are up at 4 am. That is the time my 2 year old has decided me must be up every morning as well. And the ensuing mayhem that follows. I esp. enjoyed the sock raisins too. Sounds like an excellent 4 am activity to me. Thank you for making me feel less like an insane person and more like an average mom.
ReplyDeletehttp://organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com/