I don't know how she does it. For the last two weeks or so, the Snot Queen has been busily sprouting a new molar or two. This weekend marked the climax of the show complete with an all night display of temper and tears to which the only obvious solution (to her at least) was to use mommy's breasts as her own personal morphine drip/teething ring.
I was not consulted on the matter so much as molested into submission as she smacked at my chest and tore at my nightgown until I gave up the goods. You see, we broke the night feeding habit some time ago and since then, I have been slowly rediscovering exactly what 6 or 7 unbroken hours of sleep feels like and am loathe to give it up.
But, for want of a few minutes peace, give it up I did. Every hour on the hour to a sound track that went something like this "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (smack smack) WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (smack smack) WAAAAAAaa.... (suck suck slurp) zzzzzzzzz...."
It is now Monday morning. I am wrecked. Destroyed. Despite a lovely, unbroken stretch of zzzz's last night (with only 2 or 3 pregnant pee breaks! Yay!) I am completely and utterly beside myself with tiredness. Broken potentially beyond repair.
And what about the Snot Queen? The poor little love who's pain wracked gums caused all the kerfuffle in the first place? Surely if I'm in such a state, she must be practically comatose!
Not. Bloody. Likely.
The little scut has been happily chatting away sine 6:00 this morning and even as I type this is gleefully taking apart the kitchen, leaving a trail of sippy cups, chapsticks, mobile phones and anything else she can get her sticky little hands on in her wake.
Far from being exhausted, she looks as though she's been pumped full of e numbers and liquid sugar. The joys of spring fairly glow from her fingertips as I slump at the table, a haggard shell of my former self pleading with her to slow down, to show some some sign of weariness that I can capitalize on in the form of a nice, 2 hour nap.
She shows no such mercy though and continues on her cheery faced rampage.
Oh lord, she's found something sharp. Must drag myself off to prevent her being impaled on a flossing stick.
Enjoy your week!