Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A letter to my husband.

Dearest Darling Husband,

You may wonder why I am writing you in the middle of the day. I thought it might be best to warn you in advance.

I'm having one of "those" days.

If you check the time, you will see that it is currently naptime. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have informed the girls of this and instead they are wandering about the house dripping food onto the (freshly mopped) floors.

I am down to my last nerve and it is about to snap.

The house is a disaster. There is STUFF everywhere! No matter how much I clean, they are right behind me tearing papers out of drawers and toys off of shelves. My current dream in life is to vacuum the stairs and scrub out the shower in our bathroom. Somehow, I do not think Mr. Luther King would be impressed.

To make matters worse, the Snot Queen is insisting on feeding her sister chunks of turkey mince (she has no teeth) from a fork (she has no aim.) This is not good for my nerves.

The small one has discovered some sort of wormhole which she randomly reaches into and pulls out a handful of cotton wool which I end up inevitably fishing out of her mouth (along with the giant chunks of turkey mince.) I have yet to discover the source.

A bowl of spaghetti just hit the floor.

I want to cry.

Or move away. Far, far away. By myself.

The washing machine is still broken and the clothes are about to walk out of the laundry hamper.

The soundtrack to my day goes something like this;

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!!! (music in background: "...do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about...") "Ehhhhhhh Ehhhhhhhhhhh!" "AAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!" ("...right leg in and you shake it all about...") "MOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY" THUNK! CRASH! "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" "NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! MOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" "GET OFF THE TABLE!!!!!" "NOW!!!!!" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

The girls are covered in a disgusting mixture of snot and lunch.

Another bowl of spaghetti just hit the ground.

I cannot guarantee I will be here when you get home.

If I am though, tread carefully. Forewarned is forearmed...


Your loving wife


  1. Oh sounds like a really bad day. How about a big virtual hug to try and make things a bit better. I have resigned myself at the idea that anytime I wash the floors, somebody will unexpectedly arrive and walk all over my clean floor with mucky shoes. X

  2. Oh yes, I understand this. I have been known to have a 'heated discussion' with my husband while he is at work. When he gets home and I am not talking to him he asks 'Did we have a fight today?' so then I tell him what we argued about!! My commiserations to you. Can I share my mantra with you? 'Dust is a protective layer on my furniture'. It takes a few years to truly believe it, but persistence (and young children) make it possible:) Jen.

  3. Poor thing, I'm sorry. Hope it gets better!

  4. This sounds like my day today! Hate it when naptime disappears. I am trying to cut down my SOS calls to Young Daddy at work when I'm having one of 'those' days - maybe I'll write him a letter instead ;-)

  5. Oh God love you. The worst thing about cleaning is that when you actually get around to doing it, you can't tick it of the list because it still needs to be done again a few days later! Grrrrr...

  6. Working Mama you're lucky, any time I do cleaning, it needs doing again a few minutes later! I feel your pain mammydiaries, especially as I now have kids awake between 6am and midnight thanks to an age range from 8 - 17. No nap breaks at all!

  7. @ foodie: Thanks for the hug:) I know what you mean, but it still hurts a little whrn that first splodge of gunk touches down! lol

    @Jen: I loooooooove having heated discussions with my husband when he isn't around. Some of our most heated arguments have occured without him ever being aware of them!

    @Katie: Thanks :)

    @YOungmummy: I have a plan to wear them out completely today before naptime! Here goes...

    @working mama: A few days? In this house it's a matter of minutes...

    @bluesky: Dear lord... how have you not hit the bottle yet? lol

  8. Oh dear...

    Bad day all round.

    Think I'll be off to work then *ducks*

  9. What a brilliant summation of how we have all felt at one time or another, Specially the soundtrack. That was a work of genius. Hope it gets better tomorrow!

  10. A sunshine award awaits you over at mine to make up for the horrible day...

  11. Ah hon. I don't understand why people think having a toddler and a baby is a good idea. And yet, everyone does.

    Still. Remember your reasoning... it'll be over all the sooner. They'll be friends...

    Just for god's sake, DON'T HAVE ANY MORE.

    My day goes: fighthitscreamfighthitscreamfighthitscream at the moment. With liberal whingeing sprinkled on top.

    My advice: buy some cheap lidl prosecco, keep it in the door of the fridge and swig from it throughout the day.

    And go out today and just buy a new washing machine on credit. Do it!


  12. My 7 month old was heading for the fire at the same time my 2 and 3/4 year old wanted a "poo". The spagetti on the floor at the moment is the least of my worries. Although it can get to me, especially when I look under the toddlers seat. As we have said before, our lives are scarily parallel (what with the moving and being pregnant thing) and throw in potty training for good measure. I recently joined a Facebook group called "Moms who need wine" and your post describes exactly why I felt the need to join that group.

    Love the idea of a swig of Prosecco, my vice unfortunately is chocolate - a quick sugar hit - and then back to tackle the "accidents" I find around the house. I am putting on alot of weight :-o

  13. ohhh I know this day so well. I love the idea of forwarning your husband. I will remember that for next time instead of just launcing at him! lol Mich x