Sunday, September 6, 2009

Night Weaning: Part 2

There are certain things that no one tells you about breastfeeding. Things you have to discover for yourself.

Like the pain you will feel when trying to night wean your toddler.

When after weeks of "success," they suddenly wake screaming in the night. Wanting one thing and one thing only.

The one thing you can no longer give them because you know that it will undo the weeks of work that have come before.

So you try to comfort them in other ways.

You hold their arching body and dodge their grabbing hands.

You sing and shush softly, softly.

You read books.

You offer cups of expressed milk.

Which would be grand were it hunger that drove them...

You feel frustrated.

Why don't they understand?

It will be there in the morning, afternoon and even in the evening...

Just not the night, anymore.

Why does it feel like a battle

you against them

someone must win

and lose

why does there have to be a loser

You feel guilty, because they are so little.

If it were just the one, it would be different. You would feed them whenever, wherever...

But there is another mouth to feed...

a smaller mouth that needs you more.

So you do what you have to

to keep them both going...

But you don't talk about it, much. Because it's hard to explain that you don't want to stop. That you love feeding both of your babies, that it's not a matter of weaning one completely. That isn't what I want. It just seems sometimes, like there are so many people out there wondering, "what is she doing? Why is she still feeding her toddler? When does she plan on stopping?"

To say that I'm having any difficulty whatsoever invites floods of well meaning advice, always with the same solution.

It's okay to stop you know.

But I don't.

Want to stop that is.

But that is the only answer anyone seems to have whenever I hit a bump in the road, which contrary to popular belief, is not that often.

God I've gone off track here!

But I feel a lot better now.

Thanks for listening.


  1. Oh mammy, I think you're doing a great job. Breastfeeding is so emotional, it's really so much more than food and health.

  2. Follow your heart sister. You are doing such a great job! Love you xoxo

  3. My standard "motto" when it comes to parenting decisions ... Do what is right/working for you and your little one. When it's not working for you, then do something about it. In the meantime, ignore all those opinions ... and the voices in your head ... go with your gut :)

  4. I second that - go with your gut. Your baby. Your body. Your choice xxx

  5. Hey MD any decisions that you make about bfing are totally up to you, only you know what is best for both of them. You shouldn't feel pressured - or guilty about anything. You are a wonderful and committed breastfeeding mom.

  6. I totally remember going through this with my two. Hang in there! SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did...

  7. Good for you! Stopped by from SITS, glad I did. x

  8. Stopping in from SITS, and I haven't had a child yet. Beautiful Blog though! Something to remember though when I am ready. I'll follow and be back! The Neuff

  9. Best of luck with it.......glad you are feeling better x Hope to see you on the 19th?