There is a good chance that I may have gone completely insane. This thought occured to me as I was tandem feeding my babies whilst mentally writing this blog and searching the web for the cloth nappies I have now decided to use on baby number two.
While my intentions are honourable, there is a little voice chirping away in the back of my mind reminding me of all the other times I have had so called "honourable intentions" on the long, bumpy and occasionally puke stained road that is motherhood.
For starters, there are the plastic toys we vowed our children would NEVER EVER play with. No siree! Not for our precious petals the petroleum based, noise making, light flashing, imagination killers that grace so many nurseries. Our children would grow up in a land of hand carved, environmentally friendly, sustainably farmed wooden toys that would encourage their educational growth and development. They would be allowed a small selection of these small wonders so as not to overstimulate their delicate minds and to instill in them a sense of appreciation.
17 months and 2 babies later, our house looks like Smyths Toys exploded in it. The tinny sound of electronic nursery rhymes is the soundtrack to my day and last month, the snot queen had her first official "But I don't want to leave this magic land you call the toy store!" tantrum and had to be carried board stiff and screaming out of the shop, across the parking lot to the car.
We were HORRIFIED at parents who would dare to feed their children anything that wasn't organically grown and lovingly prepared without even a hint of salt or sugar.
To this, all I can say that if the journey is long enough and the screaming loud enough, you would be amazed at what you'd feed them to keep them quiet. It was during a particularly slow moving traffic jam that our oldest angel first sampled Lennox's Fish and Chips.
And today, as I searched the net for reasonably priced cloth nappies, the voice was a little louder and a little more persistant then usual as it reminded me of my first pregnancy when I spent months scouring the shops for the appropriate materials to make the lovely cloth nappies and liners I was HAND SEWING for my new arrival's delicate bottom, and the 24 premades we ended up ordering from ebay when it turned out that my sewing skills had not improved in the 14 years since I used a glue gun to complete my tenth grade home economics sewing project.
The cloth nappies that to this day remain for the most part UNUSED as we clear cut yet another forest and fill yet another landfill whilst shamelessly bargain hunting the cheapest disposables we can find.
I remain hopeful though and my intentions, while slightly tarnished, remain good.
Maybe this time will be different.