What's New?

Apparently, the river around the town where I live has burst it's banks.

I had no idea.

Just down the road from us, Cork City has been completely flooded and the city centre shut down.

Again, not a clue.

A few of our neighboring towns are being described online as "disaster zones" and "washed away."

I was not aware of this.

Almost every main road in the county has been closed and those that remain open are expected to close this evening when the tide comes in. The college where my darling (almost) hubbie works has cancelled all lectures until the end of the month due to flood damage (Yet somehow research continues as usual...boo!)

Seriously! How did I miss this? What earth shattering events in the poo scented bubble that is now my life could possibly have left me completely unaware of the fact that apparently, the entire country (except for our estate) is now under water?!?!?

Well, for starters...

I am on the verge of selling my children. The Snot Queen's teething and has decided not to sleep until 11 o'clock every night this week and then wake up at least once a night looking for comfort in the form of mama's all night dairy bar, the baby has the plague and last night I had to LANCE MY NIPPLE. Yes, that's right, I had to Lance, i.e STICK A NEEDLE THROUGH MY NIPPLE as I had a milk blister which made me want to chew off my right breast every time either of the girls tried to latch on and the only way to deal with it was to drain it.

On top of that, the washing machine is broken and half our clothes are covered in poo (baby as well as one lovely sample of random neighborhood dog) both of the girls once again have a lovely dose of thrush on their bottoms and I was up all night with the smallie who was super congested and punishing me for her inability to feed and breathe at the same time by covering my chest in snot.

I was just starting to feel in control of it all this morning when Tiny One let loose and shat all over herself, which wouldn't have been so bad had she been wearing a nappie. Unfortunately, this was not the case as she was "airing out" and I didn't notice until she'd covered her legs and feet in a fine layer of slimy, yellow pooh.

I have a spa coupon I was given for my birthday that I am desperate to use, but at this point would settle for five minutes uninterrupted in the bathroom or a shower where nobody tries to "clean" my feet with a toothbrush.

The only "current" events I am aware of are the ones that are "currently" happening right in front of me.

See you on the Ark...