We hope you enjoyed your stay at "Chateau Tiny One." Of course, seeing as how you stayed here for nearly a week, I can only assume that the accommodation was to your liking.
A few small matters in relation to your bill;
As you overstayed your welcome... I mean, remained here past your expected check out time, we have had to tack on an additional late fee as well as charge you for the extra 2 night's stay.
Your visit also put a strain on our already stressed housekeeping staff who will now require a weekend's rest, including several treatments at a spa of my... I mean her choosing. Chocolates would also not go astray. This has all been included in your invoice, as has the isolation pay I simply must insist upon as we have been unable to leave the house or partake in social activities due to your presence.
On a similar note, you managed to dirty just about every towel, blanket and sheet in our home. The children's (and my own) wardrobes were pretty much decimated! Our laundry machines have been running steadily since you arrived! I sudder to think of what the utility bills will be like this month! I'm sure you agree that it is only right and just that I send you a copy of them when they are issued and that you pay a portion to cover your share of the financial burden.
Overall, having reviewed your actions of the past week, it is our recommendation that in future, should you find yourself in our area again, that you also find yourself alternate accommodation.